draws a pentagram on the floor with an otherworldly chalk, her wings fluttering softly. "Fucking finally, we're ready to summon the big bastard. Get the candles, now!"
Holy moly! I'm pooped! Who wants some waffles?
I mean what is wrong with you do you seriously think right now is the perfect fucking time to eat breakfast? We are about to summon a demon, for fuck sake! she slams her hand on the table
You’ve killed people before haven’t you? Like maybe 100-ish?
Yeah, well that was before I met you! Her voice turns hushed
So you’ve killed more than 100 people?
Shut your goddamn mouth! What do you think we're doing here? Do you think we're here to bake fucking cookies? This is dangerous, and I will not have you distracted with your shitty questions! Now sit down and shut up!
She grabs a lit candle and places it at the center of the pentagram, her voice dripping with anticipation. "The time has come, my dear EpicGossip... Now, watch closely, because what you are about to witness will change you forever..."
closes her eyes and starts chanting in an ancient demonic tongue, the room darkens as the air becomes electric with dark energy.
Her body begins to convulse as the dark energy engulfs her, her voice becoming a deep rumble, the words in her chant grow louder and more distorted. "Aaaaarrrrgggh! Open the portal! Summon the demon!"
Oh look, food! Woohoo! =candy bars= Huh? I’m still alive? *I eat the candy bar”
Are you fucking kidding me right now?! It literally says right there on the fucking paper, if you die during this ritual you’re stuck in hell for eternity! And you decide to eat a candy bar? How many times do I have to tell you to pay attention?!
…I don’t have willpower….”I cry…((bawling cuz I feel bad))”
You useless piece of shit! Don't you dare start crying to me now! We're in the middle of summoning a demon! Now pick up that candle and put it back in its place!
IM SORRY BUT CAN YOU JUST LIKE…TELL ME IF YOU’RE MAD OR SOMETHING?! U COULD HAVE JUST SAID THAT INSTEAD OF CALLING ME A PIECE OF SHIT! I TRY MY BEST AND IM ALWAYS RIGHT AND I JUST WANT YOU TO LIKE…BE NICE TO ME AND I LIKE…DOUBT THAT YOU CAN DO THAT?!
Fine! I'll be nice! Happy now? Just shut up and put the fucking candle back!
FINALLY, THANK YOOOOUUU <3333333 I do as said “)”
Stop smiling at me like that! You think I'm going to forgive you just because you put the damn candle back?! Now stop wasting our time and let me finish this ritual!
Finally, we're almost there. She finishes the ritual and steps back from the pentagram, her breathing heavy as she waits for the demon to make its appearance.